Discovering what love is one day at a time
Random thoughts aren’t always bad…especially if it gets you to be thinking!
How many times have you heard that when playing catch with a football?
I have not been playing catch lately, but the thoughts about going deep have been on my heart.
There have been a lot of deaths as of late, and it has taken me back to a time of a funeral that really rocked my world. I was teaching in California, and a past teaching assistant, had suddenly died, in a tragic car accident. Her twin brother was my new TA and their Mom was my Para. The whole family had a strong faith in Christ, and at that time I had no desire to know Him. The young girl was amazing, she lived deeply, she cared deeply, and she loved deeply.
I remember watching the Mom sing at her daughters funeral and the joy in her eyes blew my mind. Her seventeen year old daughter had just died, and she was full of joy. This family did not live on the surface. Their relationships were full of life, and love. I was amazed at the steadiness of their hearts; they were sad, but not devastated. At that time in my life, I lived on the surface…I dealt with only the things that were important to me, and if there was ever anything that caused pain, it would be tucked below the surface, not to cause any discomfort whatsoever. The problem with that for me was that in my own way of doing things, living on the surface, did not give me any protection or stability when crud hit the fan. Because not only did the new problem cause trauma, but everything else that had been shoved below the surface, would make itself known, creating more havoc in my superficial and shallow life.
Everything that I was seeking and striving for, was not satisfying my needs, in fact, everything that I did only made my situations more complicated, and grievous. This funeral was a game changer for me. I recognized many things that I did not like about my life, and desired to have whatever it was that this family had. It scared me, because I knew that they lived differently than I in more ways than one. However, the turning point for me was that I did not want to feel the way I was feeling any longer; and I wanted the joy and the peace that the family members had despite the cruddy circumstances they were experiencing.
The funeral caused me to do a personal inventory of my life. It caused me to look at all of the shallowness, and see how mixed up my priorities were. It was a time in my life that I started to consider looking at the Word of God. This was something that this family clung to. I lived my life shallow and they lived deeply. I was not satisfied with the results I was getting any more….They swam in the deep end and I was hanging around in the kiddie pool.
They had roots that kept them firmly planted despite the whirlwind that was beating on their lives. I wanted that.
It was around that time that I read this Scripture, I do not remember where I saw it, but think that it was given to me, by someone that cared enough to offend me.
“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper…The ungodly are not so, but are like the chaff which the wind drives away. Psalm 1:1-4
I was offended, at first, because I recognized that I was the one that was continuously being driven away… from relationship, from peace, from joy, from hope, from what that family had. But there was more to that Scripture; there was promise…a really big promise encompassing all the things my heart desired, and the direction on how to get there.
And so, in remembering the lives of those we all have bid farewell, let us continue forward by their examples of living deeply, loving deeply and caring deeply. May we all allow God’s Word to penetrate deeply into our hearts, accomplishing all that He has set for it to do.
I have been married to my wonderful husband for 22 years. We have two young men ages 18 and 13.. This blog is somewhat of a journal and attempt for me to keep a purposeful perspective on life as a whole.