Discovering what love is one day at a time
I spent some time with an almost two year old the other day, and it reminded me the responsibility we have to manage our response. Two year olds have a very difficult time managing their response. When they are exhausted, their response can be an all out scream, a fit of throwing things, our even crawling to the floor to bury their head, and no matter what type of comfort comes towards them they can respond with a grunt, a scream or a kick. Have you ever felt like a two year old?
I have been chewing on the scripture that in a nutshell says, freely you have received freely give. It is not one that ever really gets laid aside, because I do not think that until I see Him face to face I will have the complete understanding of His words. He is continually opening the eyes of my heart to see what so freely I have been given and what that looks like in my life and how that relates to others.
Obviously, forgiveness from sin is there. For in Salvation the forgiveness of my debt of sin has been paid, and therefore, others who trespass against me(sin against me) forgiveness has to be theirs. Forgiveness is a choice to respond in love to the one who has trespasses against me, and out of love for the Father who gave His life for me.
So lately the thought that I have been hashing over in my mind and my heart is the idea of trust. If I am holding trust hostage, and refusing to trust, or even demanding that someone earn their trust, am I truly freely giving what I have received? Does that not put me in the position of the servant that demanded payment from one of his fellow servants? Is not my demand for someone to prove their trust a desire gone bad; a desire, not submitted, and therefore an expectation and thus an entitlement? Where does the boundary lie? Who is in charge of my boundaries? As a daughter of the King, who is responsible to protect me? And what is my responsibility in relationships. My job is to love and to honor, defend, and protect the hearts of my brothers and sisters, and my neighbor. I am my brother’s keeper. Jesus takes care of all of my needs. He is my shield, my comfort, my defender, my strength, my joy...He is my protector.
Christ has trusted me with the fullness of Him... I have been given all things that pertain to life and godliness. He trusts me. And I mess up….a lot…yet he gives me full access to His heart. He honors my no. However, I still suffer consequences when I refuse His love…when I act like the two year old, and bury my head in the ground, grunt and scream and kick….
So my job, my responsibility is to trust the Lord with my whole heart in relationships with others, and lean not on my own understanding. And let Him show me their boundaries. If I trust God and allow others to see inside my heart, He will show me where the other person has buried their head, and is not able to, or willing to come near. It is my responsibility then to honor that place in their heart, and protect them, love them, and honor them.
I have been married to my wonderful husband for 22 years. We have two boys ages 18 and 13.. This blog is somewhat of a journal and attempt for me to keep a purposeful perspective on life as a whole.