Discovering what love is one day at a time
I really enjoy this season of the year, not because there is snow, not because of the cold, but because it is a time of remembering, and also of planning. The family gatherings bring up stories of days and years past. I love to look at the year that has past, and remember the events, and growth that has happened in our family. I get so excited, because I like to look back at the whole year and take a look at the things that the Lord has done in my life and in my family’s life. I like to do that all of the time, but it certainly is a faith builder as you look at all that has happened as you go forward into a new season.
December is a month that is an anniversary for me. It was December 2, 2009, under a doctor’s supervision that I went off of Coumadin for a blood clotting disorder that I had had since my 1st child was born. Antiphospholipid Syndrome was its name. December 30, 2009, is the day I took my blood test. It was January 22, 2010, the day of my Grandmother’s funeral, which I received the phone call telling me that there was no physical evidence of the syndrome that I had been diagnosed with.
Antiphospholipid Syndrome was the clotting disorder that surfaced after the birth of my first child. Exactly one month after my son was born, I ended up in the hospital(Valentines Day) It turns out I had a blood clot from my waist to my ankle. At this time, I was not living for God, going to church, believing in Him or even believing there was a God. I was hospitalized for a week at the hospital I gave birth to my son at, and then they transferred me by ambulance to UCLA. After about 18 days, I started bleeding internally from the medicine they were using to break up the clot, they sent me home, and a day and a half later, the pain was too great, and I returned to the emergency room only to be ambulanced back to UCLA again. Sometime around the 20th of March, I think, I was released to go home, using a walker to get around, and then a cane, and then on my own. That was in 1999. If there was a God, I was angry at Him, and I certainly was not going to talk to Him…..but that is a whole other story….
Thinking back to July of 2009, we were camping, and I was reading in the camper, and I felt like the Lord told me to “get out of the boat” argumentative as I am I told Him, “I am not in a boat, I am in a camper”…after further discussion with the Lord, I realized He was talking to me about the healing of Antiphospholipid Syndrome that He promised me that He was going to heal back in 2005. I really did not understand and finally came to the realization that get out of the boat meant take a step of faith and involve others in this thing. This meant that I had to share what I felt like He was saying to me. So I told the Lord…”If this really is you…and I am not completely mad, then I need three things….1. For my husband to agree to see a doctor about going off Coumadin. 2. for the doctor to agree for me to go off of it and do blood testing. 3. for the blood test results to show NO PHYSICAL EVIDENCE of the factors that cause the blood clotting disorder. Then if those things happen, I will have proof for my husband, proof that I just did not presume on my own what I am longing for, and proof that I really did HEAR You.” So began my plight…telling my husband that the Lord told me He was going to heal me felt different. (Kind of like I wonder if He thinks I am nuts…) So after discussion, I asked Him to set up the doctor’s appointment when he felt he was ready, but before the end of the year. My first appointment was scheduled for November 2nd. The doctor that was managing my prescription at that time refused to even take me off of Coumadin… and in the office as the doctor said no, I felt the lump in my throat start rising…and I started silently praying and argued with God and said, “ Lord, You said you were going to heal me”…and in the next breath the doctor recommended another doctor that may be willing to review my case….deep sigh of relief…(maybe I am not nuts.) The next appointment was scheduled for December 2nd. The doctor reviewed my entire file, and said, “Are you ready?” I told the doctor while I pointed at my husband, “It’s not me you need to convince, it’s him." Brad said,” Let’s do it.” So, I quit taking Coumadin and scheduled to take the blood tests by the 30th of December.
December 27th was the last Sunday of the month and we were running late to church, I remember, because the only spot left was the second row right up front and center. Some days that would have been distracting to me, but for some reason, I was able to close off the rest of the world and enter into worship. It was amazing as I was worshipping, I heard Him say, “You might want to kneel down for this.” “Ok,” I said, and as my knee touched the ground, the most amazing sensation poured over me, and felt also like it was pouring out of my heart throughout my whole being. I laughed, I cried, and I could not stop shaking from within. At one point I heard our pastor start to pray, and thought…I should probably get off the floor now. I had no idea what it was about, but I was so thankful for His presence. It wasn’t scary or weird, it was beautiful, and no words really can describe the love that I felt.
I went on the 30th for the blood tests, and then my grandmother passed away on the 19th of January. Her funeral was held at the Catholic Church I attended growing up. I went downstairs to use the restroom, and as I pulled the latch across to lock the door I felt Him again…and I told Him “but Lord I really have to go”…I was shaking so badly, I just sat down on the stool with my pants completely on…the last thing I thought of was Lord please do not let me wet my pants. The basement of a Catholic church and a bathroom stall; He can visit us anywhere any time... I still did not put two and two together; I was just enjoying His visits. My grandma’s funeral was around eleven o’clock, and we drove home after visiting with relatives, and friends. When I walked in the front door the phone rang, it was the doctor’s office calling with the blood test results. I made her repeat herself twice. Just to make sure I did not hear her wrong. The nurse said” I am calling to let you know that your blood test results came back, and there is no physical evidence”……she used the technical names…I do not even know what they are…and I really do not care, because at this point everything I asked for had come to pass. He gave me everything I asked for. It was a done deal.
When He first told me He was going to heal me, it was after my second son was born, and at that time I was still wearing ted hose pantyhose, the kind you have to spend 150 a pair, and use rubber gloves to put them on with; the ones that take every ounce of extra skin and shove it all upwards to the top of the hose. Do not get me wrong, they are a lifesaver; they are wonderful in the wintertime, not so much in the summer. They certainly help with circulation and help with pain. After the first time He told me He was going to heal me, it was not long after that that He took away my pain, and I did not have to wear the ted hose any longer, I was ok with just that, if that was going to be the extent of my healing. Pain was a biggie. Without the ted hose, my leg was a constant source of pain. One day I told my husband it hurts more to wear them…He told me don’t wear them then…and so I did not. It was crazy, because some days prior to that I would even wear them to bed because my leg hurt so badly. And then one day, I got up and my leg did not hurt, and out of habit as soon as I got out of the shower I went to put them on, and my leg started hurting… so I took them off…no pain… He reminded me of His promise. There was some work, some healing to be done in my heart before the rest of the physical healing would take place. (Another Story)
Simple. His promises are sure. Don’t let go of them. Believe Him at His Word. Do not abort His promises no matter the circumstances surrounding you. When He speaks something into your heart, He will confirm it. He will follow through. Wait on Him. Watch for Him. Seek Him. He is faithful.
Remembering God and the things He has done both big and small are something that He tells us to do. It is testimony of His work in our lives. It is a way for us to magnify Him and bring Him Glory. We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. He is a life giver. He brings life into everything He touches. Remember Him in EVERYTHING.
Remember His marvelous works which He has done. His wonders and the judgment of His mouth.
I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the work of Your hands.
I have been married to my wonderful husband for 24 years. We have two young men ages 20 and 15.. This blog is somewhat of a journal and attempt for me to keep a purposeful perspective on life as a whole.